Friday, October 16, 2009

Gaines "Ole" Adams off to the Windy City

With the NFL trade deadline rapidly approaching next Tuesday, teams are positioning themselves to release players. Normally, the trade deadline in the NFL isn't a big deal but with the 2010 season having the possibility of being an uncapped season, trades in the NFL this season might look like MLB at the August 31st deadline.

The first trade happened tonight and I couldn't be happier. The 4th pick of the 2007 draft, Gaines Adams, Clemson, was sent packing to Chicago where he can either play on the defensive line or ACORN, I could care less. In return, Junior Morris and his wander crew get a second round pick in return. SWEET! The number 9 pick of the 2007 draft was Adrian Petersen. Enough said.

Good bye Gaines, you are another Eric Curry or Keith McCants. Sure you will be reunited with Rod Marinelli who was the D-line coach here in Tampa but he was the head coach in Detroit and bombed, but I hope he can get something out of you in Chicago. As this Nation has learned, it doesn't take any experience to become something as long as you come from Chicago. Before your first practice Gaines, make sure to register with SEIU and ACORN, the rest is gravy regardless of how badly you suck on the field. Good bye and good riddance.

Week 6 picks

As I mentioned last week, there were 5 tossup games. I mentioned I wanted to go with Cleveland but I went with Buffalo at home. That game really stunk, Cleveland won while Anderson completed 2 passes for the entire game. If I had sat in the stands for that game, I'd have demanded my money back. Then again, season ticket holders in Buffalo should demand all of their money back once Ralph Wilson decided to play two "home" game across the border in Canada. So, here we go with this weeks picks and a surprise upset special. I was 9-5 last week and the current record is 57-19 overall for the season.

Houston-Cincy. Cincy is one tipped ball in Denver away from being 5-0. Houston is not playing consistent football. Cincy wins in a shootout.

Detroit-Green Bay. Detroit is a much improved team over last year's offering. They have scored over 20 points in the last two games. Green Bay is coming off a bye and wins this game, but I wouldn't give the 13.5 points if you want to bet the spread.

Baltimore-Minnesota. After a record run of 30+ games, the Ravens surrendered a 100+ rusher last week. Cedric Benson. Yes, Cedric Benson ran for 136 yards and a score on the Ravens. Now here comes Adrian "All Day" Petersen. Flacco will need to air it out as the Williams wall will most likely contain the Ravens running attack. This will be a great game to watch, but Favre and company come out on top.

Cleveland-Pittsburgh. If you are reading this blog to make picks and can't see a given, you shouldn't be betting money. Steelers in a romp.

Carolina-Tampa Bay. This game is close because they both suck but Carolina's running game and a long touchdown pass to Steve Smith does the Bucs in, again.

Kansas City-Washington. This is my upset special. Bowe is starting to get dialed in with Cassell who is starting his third game after missing a few with injury. Washington is not a good team. They beat Tampa at home and beat the Rams in St Louis by 3 points. Jim Zorn is scared, and I think the Chiefs beat the Crackheads by 10 this weekend. Jim Zorn is fired Monday morning.

St Louis-Jacksonville. Jacksonville is a 9 1/2 point favorite, take that bet because they will beat the Rams by 16 on Sunday.

Arizona-Seattle. Matt Hasslebeck is back under center, Arizona's pass defense is 29th in the league, Seattle is a tough place to play for visitors, especially when the weather will suck. Seattle starts their push for the NFC West division crown this week.

Philly-Oakland. McNabb throws another 3 td's and Philly covers the 14 point Vegas line.

Tennessee-New England. Tennessee was 13-3 last season, and at one point won 10 games in a row. Jeff Fisher is one hell of a NFL coach, but I have no idea what has happened to the Titans this past offseason. Their pass defense is horrible and this game will make Lord Brady look like Brady of 2007. How many children had he fathered then? I've lost count. Randy Moss and Wes Welker will have a field day this weekend at home.

Buffalo-NY Jets. Sanchez recovers after the loss in Miami on Monday night versus the Mullets. This will be the game where TO finally has a meltdown in the post game presser.

Chicago-Atlanta. This will be a close game, but Tony Gonzalez will exploit the loss of Brian Urlacher.

Monday night-
Denver-San Diego. Denver has come out of the gate strong, winning games they shouldn't have won(see Cincinnati) and beating weak opponents (see Dallas) and last week winning a game outright against the overrated Patriots in overtime. I don't see the Broncos going into San Diego this week, after a bye and beating the Chargers. Phillip Rivers should have a large game. 37-34 final score. Could Denver be a team which starts the season 5-0 and fails to miss the playoffs? I think so.

If you are betting points this week
Detroit-Green Bay-13 1/2 nope
Cleveland-Pittsburgh-14 yes yes yes
Philly-14-Oakland yes yes yes, hell yes
Jets-91/2- Buffalo yes.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Hey Junior, Got Carolina on your mind?

You should. Carolina has owned the Bucs and have won 4 of the last 6 games the Bucs and Panthers have played. And before my Panther friends who read this blog want to talk smack, let me see your Super Bowl ring first, then we'll go into deep conversation. What? No ring? That's right you guys made it to the big dance and lost. Sorry about your luck. I still hate Carolina.

That being said, it's time to evaluate this weeks upcoming Bucs game. I didn't have time last week. I went back and watched Junior's pressers on Monday and Wednesday and I have a few comments. If anyone reading this blog is an expert in body language, I'd like you to review the last four pressers and tell me what his body is telling you, because it's telling me he is afraid, scared, uncomfortable and over his head. He constantly brings drinks with him to the press conferences, sometimes taking many sips during the presser. Usually water or Gatorade. I figure when the Bucs are 0-10, he'll show up with a Coors light so they can work him right into the stupid faux coaches press conferences Coors uses for ads on Sundays. He'll need to find work after this season.

He is constantly touching his face, scratching his nose, running his thumb over his lips, during this weeks presser on Wednesday, he showed up wearing a hat, and was constantly pulling at the hat. He was really pulling at the hat after he was asked about the reports which surfaced linking Tony Dungy returning to the Bucs. He responded by saying he felt bad for Tony who was just living in Tampa and trying to raise his family. You felt bad for Tony??????? Junior, you can't coach you're way out of a wet paperbag and you feel bad for Tony Dungy because he was linked to a story about his possible return to the Bucs? I feel bad for you, because you don't see the hammer about to hit you on January 4th 2010.

And what is up with the Monday presser, in Tampa, at 11:30, and you show up wearing a full sleeve length hoodie sweatshirt while it is 93 degrees outside of One Buc Place? Are you trying to channel Big Bad Bill in New England? It ain't working. On Wednesday, Junior informed reporters that he was no longer piping in his music from his IPOD during practice. Man. That's the way to lay down the law. And once again, in no presser I've watched this season does Junior ever say thank you or is there another question, he simply grabs his drink and rudely walks away. Why don't you rudely walk out of One Buc Place, make a left, then make another left on Dale Mabry and walk away. You are not worthy of being a head coach in this league.

Well, here come the Carolina Panthers. Sure, they have had issues this season. QB Jake Delhomme has turned the ball over more frequently than an ACORN volunteer can register a voter this season, but he has his number one Buc killer, Steve Smith alive and well at the wideout position. In the last 6 games against the Bucs, Smith is, 40-571-1, for a 15 yard average and has to be drooling at the prospect of matching up against Aquib "treadmarks" Talib this weekend. Last week, Philly's tightend, Brent Celeck posted respectable numbers against the Bucs across the middle. Carolina's TE Dante Rosario will have 7 catches for 100 yards and a score come Sunday. Julius Peppers has only 3 sacks so far this year, but he should get a few this week, especially going against Falsestart Trueblood. Finally, the last Buc killer on this squad is kicker, John Kasay. On September 24th, 2006, I was sitting in section 128, row g in blistering heat and watched him kick 4 field goals and the shortest one was 48 yards to defeat the Bucs 26-24, the last one as time ran out. Bastard. This guy has kicked forever, retire already!

Carolina is a 3.5 point favorite in Tampa this week as the road team. I wouldn't lay any money on either of these teams, but Carolina will win. I predict 23-20. And, Tampa fans won't see it because they will most likely experience the first blackout since Ray Jay was built in 1996. Great job Glazers. Way to build for the future.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Go Figur- YA Mon is signed

Word coming from One Buc Place this afternoon is the season is saved, an eleven game run is coming up next. The wide receiver/kick returned drafted 74th overall by the Baltimore Ravens and released by the Detroit Lions, (cue Bob Marley) Yamon Figurs was signed after a workout.
Junior called out the wide receivers after the pasting the Philly Felons put on the Bucs. Does any Bucs follower really expect to see Mike Clayton sit this week or be cut? Nah, he's got crunk according to Junior. He's a gamer. No one will likely see the Bucs at all this week because the B-word is looming. The first possible blackout since Ray Jay was built is looming this weekend.

Clayton sucks and the fans know it. Someone beat me to the punch and started the website, www.80sucks.com. After his comments last week about having his checks in the bank already and the fans have no clue as to what it's like on the field were the final nail in the coffin for Claytons' tenure for me. Junior might have signed you for 3 years jack but next year when the Bucs see a real head coach at the helm, your happy ass will be down the road. I'm sure you'll get a contract from Seattle, they love washed up has beens and never weres.

So, congrats to Junior and those at One Buc Place. This signing today sets in place the groundwork for an 11 game win streak and a push deep into the playoffs. Yeah right, cue the Bob Marley again and have the 12th Red Stripe. 1-15 is reality.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

With the 1st pick in the 2010 NFL draft...........

The Tampa Bay Bucs select.................

Those words will be heard soon enough Bucs fans. This team is pitiful. I was having flashbacks to 1983 today. Even Cleveland won today, in what had to have been a joy to watch, 6-3 over Buffalo. Cleveland quarterback Derek Anderson complete TWO passes for the entire game. How do you win a game when you're quarterback completes 2 passes? And the Bucs lost to Buffalo?

Things I'm proud of, being a Bucs fan.

Ownership of the team hired a genius like Mark Dominik to be the General Manager. Mark's decision to re-sign Mike Clayton for 3 years and 16 million was brilliant. Clayton couldn't catch clap in a whorehouse. Stone hands were on display three times today. Why does this team always seem to have a wide receiver who believes their own press releases on how great they are? (see Meshawn Johnson, Keenan McCardell, Alvin Harper)

We filled the 53 man roster with a kicker after Mike Nugent was rightfully released last week. Although, no one must have mentioned to Junior that a kicker actually travelled to Philly this week. Twice in the first half, the Bucs could have kicked a field goal and the dynamics of the game would have been changed with 6 more points in the first half. If Junior has no confidence in the kicker, why did they sign him to replace Nugent?

8 touchdown plays over 30 yards. This stat is just FANTASTIC! Jerry Maclin had Elbert Mack turned around so much on the post route, he looked like he was on Dancing with the Stars. This team is horrible folks. Does Ronde Barber still play defense?

Gaines Adams should now be labeled as the next Eric Curry. The Bucs selected Gaines Adams over Adrian Peterson because Cadillac Williams was already on the team. All I can say is, WOW. There really is no way Peterson would be able to crack into the already crowded, talent-laden Bucs backfield.


A few questions for the front office:

Will Defensive Linemen Dre Moore and Kyle Moore ever be active for a game this season? Moore really is less.

Since you want Gaines Adams to have double digit sacks this year, will you be appealing the league to extend the regular season to 20 games?

Can Junior motivate this team to play for 60 minutes?

Can Junior "get crunk" with his wide outs this week and perhaps coach some basics. This is a football, these are your hands. Hands, meet football.

So Bucs fans, here we are, 0-5 as I predicted back in August. The only remaining game on the schedule I believe the Bucs could win is coming next week. Then again, I am watching my 10th straight hour of football currently, consuming the remaining Anheiser-Busch products from our wedding reception and reality will set in tomorrow morning and the Bucs might keep the Carolina game at least close next week, but a win is highly improbable. This season was lost back in July. I am willing to fall on the sword. Tank the season, go 1-15, hell, since we are adopting the ways of the past, go 0-16. ANYTHING to get this joke of a coaching staff out of town.

I have a feeling that Ray Jay might finally see it's first blackout coming this week. The 1-4 Panthers playing the 0-5 Bucs. Club level seats will most likely be 20.00 a piece outside of the stadium at 12:00pm on Sunday. There are a record number of Super Bowl winning coaches out of work currently, and if the Glazers retain Junior after this train wreck of a season when they win 3 games or less, I will have a difficult time supporting this franchise moving forward until changes are made for the positive. Hey Joel, how's that season ticket waiting list working out for ya? Go Manchester United mate.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Week 5

Going into week 5 and things are a bit busy around here, and 4 games in my eyes are virtual toss-ups this week. 47-14 record after 4 weeks but things might change this week.

Cleveland v Buffalo. This is one of those toss up games. I nearly picked Cleveland but I've got to go with Buffalo.

Dallas over Kansas City.
Minnesota over St Louis.
Philly over Tampa Bay. Philly wins 38-6
Carolina over Washington. Another toss up game but Carolina has a good record after a bye.
Baltimore over Cincy
San Fransisco over Atlanta, another toss up very close
Seattle over Jacksonville, tossup betting on Hasslebeck playing
Houston over Arizona. Which Houston squad shows up?
Denver over New England
Indy over Tennessee. A trap game for Indy. Tennessee is due to break out one week
J-ET-S jets jets jets over the Miami Mullets.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Junior grows a set

A day after the Bucs had their best shot this season to win a game, only to see it slip away with an inept kicker, the 2 million dollar Mike Nugent was released today. It was the right call from Junior. Not that the Bucs are so deep that the kicking position will put this team over the top this season, but was Matt Bryant asked to come back? Nope. Junior continues to show his disdain for every player that was on Jon Grudens' roster. While Junior brought in Nugent and cost the team two million dollars, the team will be working out superstar kickers Shane Andrews and Brandon Coutu. Hmm? What? You've not heard of these superstars? Well, stand in line, because no one else has. Rest assured, with Junior on the helm at OBP, they will be no one older than 25 years old and will be willing to chest bump on the 50 yardline after kicking a 25 yard field goal kicking for the Bucs. The Bucs faithful miss you Matt Bryant. Especially going into this weeks game with Philly. I was sitting in section 118 Row r seat 1 on October 22, 2006 when you booted a chip shot 62 yarder to beat the Felons 23-21. McNabb also left a bit of himself on the south end zone when he deposited some Chunky soup on the 23 yard line.

I predicted this would be a train wreck of a season, but it is really getting out of control. The Bucs were in position yesterday to win the game, but failed execution and piss poor play calling doomed the Bucs. This weeks game with the Philly Felons will be ugly. Philly will hang 38 points on the Buccos.

48-14 so far on the straight up picks after 4 weeks. I told you you take the Bucs and the points, and the game would come down to a field goal.
The Crackheads will win this game but the score will be close. Take the Bucs and the 8 points the Heads are giving at home. I see this game coming down to a field goal. I guess it came down to a couple of field goals, missed ones at that.
This week the Bucs are 14.5 point underdogs. Enough said.