Dear Jon

This is an open letter to Jon Gruden regarding the current state of my beloved Buccaneers.

Dear Jon,
This week we face the Carolina Panthers. I don't need to tell you, that if we lost this week, we will be down 2 games in our division and we'll then have an overall record of 3-3 with upcoming games with Seattle and the Dallas "work release" Cowboys. I have a few suggestions going into tomorrow's game.

First, Sit Dexter "skids" Jackson on the bench and allow Michael Bennett to return the kickoffs. Bennett has 4.2 40 speed and was a pro bowl player when he was in Minnesota. Mike's not afraid of contact and has played NFL football for several years now and understands it's nuances.
Dexter Jackson falls down so much I believe he has a neuromusclar problem. He should be a spokesman for Morgan and Morgan personal injury attorneys, Slip and Fall, call Morgan and Morgan. I'm Skids Jackson and I approved this message. For the love of God, please let Bennett return the kickoffs. You won't let him touch the ball in any other fashion.

Second, When the Bucs gave away a king's ransom to obtain you as the head coach, your reputation was that you were an offensive genius. Now, I'm one of your biggest fans, but Jon, your offense is offensive. It's 2008. It's okay to try a pass attempt of 20 yards or more atleast once in a game. And when the running game is clicking, it's okay to try to run the ball more than 20 times a game. Graham gets better later in the game with more carries. He's touching the ball 11 times a game at this current rate. Why did we draft all these big studs on the OL the past few years if we can't run the damn ball? This technique of abandoning the run allowed Green Bay back into the game two weeks ago when we clearly had dominated the game up until that point.

Third, Clock management. Three times this season in the opening drive, the Bucs have called a timeout. Why? Down by 10 points in Denver with 7 minutes to go, Garcia comes in and executes the "death by a thousand papercuts offense" dinking and dunking 3 yards passes, striking fear in the defense of Denver, all the while eating up 5 minutes of clock time. It would have been nice to S-T-R-E-T-C-H the field and score, then kick off to Denver with more than 1:58 on the clock putting the defense in such a make or break situation.

Fourth, Penalties. What is it with the RT position for the Bucs? Trueblood has been out of control the past few weeks with stupid penalties. Before Trueblood, we had to endure Kenyatta "false start" Walker. Another player we sold our soul for in the draft which is now out of football completely. Get this damned squad under control. It seems as if we are always at 1st and 15 or 2nd and 20. You are professionals, act like it.

Lastly, I don't need to reiterate to you how important this weeks game is. This season, I believe both wildcard teams will be from the NFC East division, so inorder to get into the playoffs, the Bucs will need to repeat as NFC South division champs. I realize since realignment, the team which finishes last the prior year wins the division the next year. Carolina has won their last 5 games in Tampa and Tampa is 4-10 against the spread in the past 14 games. It doesn't look good on paper my friend. But the game is played on the field. Now field the best 47 players this Sunday and kick Carolina's ass. The Rays have their back against the wall in the early series with the Evil Empire and the Bucs are in the same position. This week's game can be the difference in whether we finish 10-6 or 6-10. Pound the Rock!


That is all.

Game 2

It's hard to imagine saying that the second game of a 7 game series is a must win, but if Boston wins tonight and the next three games in Boston, this series could get away faster than an ACORN volunteer registering Obama voters.

Tonight's matchup is intriguing. Scott Kazmir (12-8 3.49) up against Josh Beckett (12-10 4.03)
Beckett was shelled his last outing against the Angels. Kazmir had his usual early inning struggles his last start, working out of a bases loaded jam in the 1st against the White Sox. Kazmir has struggled late in the year after the All-Star break the past few years. I believe the conditioning coach has to work with him this offseason to develop better stamina. I like Scotty, he reminds me of a young Tom Glavine. Glavine always struggled with early inning issues through his career was well, but is headed for Cooperstown when he hangs up the cleats in the next year or two.

While watching the game last night, I noticed many Red Sox fans in the crowd were wearing the blue version of their cap, not the red one. Was this so they could slip in the crowd undetected. Several Sox fans commented in this morning's Slant Pete Times that they found the home crowd in St Pete to be annoying and the cowbells especially annoying. Isn't that the point?

Well Mr. Kazmir, the future of the free world rests on your shoulders tonight. I know you won't disappoint. I certain that Joe Maddon passed along some zen-like wisdom to the boys last night. We've come too far to turn back now. Rays win tonight 8-4. Take it to the bank, mortgage the house. Wait a minute, isn't that what got us into the current financial mess? Scratch that. Bet your gas money this week. Rays win.

Down one but...........

Yeah, okay I predicted a win tonight. Maddon should never have pulled Shields in the 7th, but I can't argue with a manager who won 97 games this season.

What I do want to argue about is the coverage of tonights game on TBS.
TBS announcers referred to the Rays, as the "Baby Rays"

In the 7th inning, Tampa was referred to as a young team trying to do too much. The Rays won 97 games this year, maybe they are simply trying to simply win a ballgame?

In reference to Grant Balfour in the 8th inning, TBS announcers said, Balfour doesn't pitch correctly and should be called for a BALK each time he pitches. Hmmm, he's pitched the same way all year.

At Midnight, TBS announcers announce, it's midnight on the east coast and the clock has stuck for the Cinderella Rays.

Then there was the expected comment, that once again in the playoffs, experience trumps exuberance.

Write off the Rays media.

When will sanity return to the NFL?

As we are heading into week six of the NFL season, there is turmoil in many houses of the franchises. San Diego has the same record as the Miami Mullets, of 1-15 fame last season. The Philly Buzzards are 2-3 and their quarterback hasn't thrown a touchdown in two games (and he's killing me on one of my fantasy teams) Cleveland, who had Derek Anderson under center last season, can't seem to find the endzone. Indy is struggling badly. God's anointed team, the Patriots, have lost their Messiah. Perhaps Obama can lay his hands upon Cassel and all will be well with the world. Finally, I am only 10 games above .500 on my selections this season (40-30). Not good.

So this week,
Minnesota over the hapless Lions
Crackheads over the even more hapless Ewes
New Orleans scores 40 points and beats da Raydas
Mullets win their third in a row over Houston
Jets score 35 and whip Cincy
Chicago over Atlanta
Indy over Baltimore
Tampa wins a close one over Carolina
Jags over Denver
Dallas over Arizona
Buzzards over San Fran
Seattle over Green Bay
San Diego gets even for last seasons playoff loss over New England
Giants score 38 and destroy Cleveland on MNF.

BUCK FOSTON!

It's on like Donkey Kong tonight at 8:37pm. It's good versus evil. It's clam chowda versus grouper sandwiches. It's the big dig versus the majestic Skyway. It's democrats versus republicans. It's James Shields (14-8 3.56) versus Dice-K Matsuzaka (18-3 2.90)

This is it Tampa Bay, you are 4 wins away from advancing to your first ever World Series. And as in previous years, I believe this ALCS will be better than the World Series itself.

Dinner is cooking, the beer is chilling and at 8:30, I'm kicking the cat off the couch to settle in for what will be the first game of a great series. I have to skip the pregame show because the National Anthem will be sung by former American Idol runner up, human muppet, Adam Archuleta, pictured above. Is this all the Rays could dig up for this monumental moment in franchise history? A 90 pound waif who resembles Fozzy Bear when he was a cub? Ugh!

I've read online this afternoon that several hundred Red Sox fans are planning to congregate at Ferg's, the huge sports bar across the street from the Trop to watch the game and imbibe a few adult beverages. Good thing the St Pete Police Department is just down the street, and officers, feel free to use the taser on any obnoxious fans wearing red.

I'm predicting a 4-3 win tonight by the Rays in extra innings, and the Rays to win the series in 6 games.

HELLO Bosox!

Welcome to Florida. Again and to the "dreadful Trop" as so lovingly referenced by award winning major media journalist Rob Duca of the 217th largest media market Cape Cod Times newspaper.
Those of us in Southwest Florida know how much Mr Duca loves Florida. All I know is that it was 88 here today and Bawwwsten had frost this morning. Damn. The chowda's gonna get cold quickly with those temps.

Well, this is the matchup I've wanted all along. The Red Sox, the media anointed, the darlings, God's chosen against the little team that can't. The little team with the little payroll which media elites all season long gave little credit to. It was the standard line on ESPN and other sports websites, The Rays are playing good ball but let's see how they are doing after the All-Star break. Then it became, let's see how they are playing in August, then September, then it was the call for an early exit from the playoffs. Well guess what "experts"? The Rays are 4 wins from getting to the World Series. After just watching the Presidential debate this evening, I believe I heard Obama say he sent a memo a year ago to Bud Selig stating he thought the Rays would be the next great team in Major League Baseball. He's sent a letter or called someone about every great event facing this Nation in the past three years according to him. (He sure calls and sends alot of letters, just doesn't do much)

So here come the thugs from up north. The team which incited the bench clearing brawl on June 4th. Coco Crisp charged the mound that day. Coco Crisp. Was his mother stoned when she named him? Maybe the Sox can sign Milkey Cabrerra and Count Chockulla to fill in the outfield in the offseason. Perhaps they could entice Atari Bigby to give up football with the Packers or Milton Bradley to join the squad. And we get another visit from the mouthy pitcher John Papelbon.

Tampa has lost only one home game this year with over 25,000 in attendance and that was the season opener. Tampa was 8-1 at home this year against the Red Sox and won a series in Boston late in the year. I can't wait for the first pitch at 8:37 on Friday. I can't wait to see Boston go home and watch the World Series on tv. Hopefully this is your last year in Ft Myers you greedy bastards, head on up I-75 and take your rude and nasty arrogant fans with you. And throw another log on the fire, your chowdas' gonna get cold.

Rays up 2-0, games move to Chicago.

Well, well, well. The National media is beside themselves once again. How can the Tampa Bay Rays be up 2 games on the Chicago White Sox? Two weeks ago, The Bucs beat the Bears, it's a fluke. Now the Rays are 2 games up on the Sox and the media is spinning stories on how the Sox can come back. Come back?

The Rays will win this series in 4 games. Meanwhile, the Sox can stay home in the bastion of corrupt politics and each White Sox player can vote 13 times for Obama to be ordained as the Messiah of the USA. The Rays are just helping to get out the vote.

Boston? Are you out there???? Can you win the series against the Angeles????
We Ray's fans want nothing more than a 7 game series with you and your obnoxious fans. America is sick of Boston and their sports. It's time for a changing of the guard.