As a public service in these tough economic times, I'll add my comments for the Madison Avenue advertising execs who are trying to stretch the already depleted advertising dollars for major companies.
After watching the Bucs/Raiders game today, I've got to wonder how major corporations are staying afloat or who the hell is making the decisions on the advertising budget.
Burger King-
McDonald's stock is doing quite well during these tough times. I wouldn't touch Burger King with a 10 foot pole. Who the hell approved this abysmal Whopper Virgin ad campaign? This is simply disgusting. If people in Greenland liked the Whopper, does that make me more likely to go there to eat? I doubt it.
Geico-
Readers of this blog will know, I have applauded Geico for the creation of the Geico gecko. People love animals in advertising. Is the board of Geico dropping acid? What the hell is up with these eyeballs on the stack of dollar bills? The background music is the one hit wonder of the 1980's, Rockwell, Who's watching Me. Rockwell was discovered and bankrolled by Michael Jackson. Add all of this up and it's very creepy. Let's see more of the gecko, and less of the eyeballs.
Pizza Hut-
They like to introduce new items in a commercial by showing middle aged folks coming to a make believe opening of a restaurant. The latest campaign is a new pizza. The all natural multi grain pizza. Hmm. What have I been eating from Pizza Hut in the past. The Hut illustrates that this "new" pizza has all natural pepperoni. This is opposed to fake pepperoni?
Coors Light-
I've complained about this company before. But this endless parade of the faux coaches pressers with the three idiots in the audience is getting really old after nearly 2 years. Coors, I don't drink your product and you are not inspiring me to switch brands. End the insanity after the Super Bowl for the love of God.
The Big Three-
It's no wonder that the big three automakers needed a bailout on the backs of the taxpayers. In the first quarter of the game today, 7 Ford truck ads with narrative by Dennis Leary. Then, not to be outdone, Dodge rallies with 6 ads in the second quarter illustrating people doing stupid things with their trucks.
With these discussions of major companies needing a bailout at the taxpayers expense, these are some companies which could tighten their belt a bit and do away with wasted money on failed advertising.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
CBS you have NO CLASS
CBS showed no class this afternoon during the Bucs/Raiders game in my opinion. Carnell Williams, who suffered a season ending knee injury last year against Carolina when his knee cap was detached and actually ended up in his thigh, suffered another knee injury this afternoon. This time, it was his other knee and his career is likely finished.
After a 20 yard run on the outside, Williams went down and was in obvious pain. The microphone operator for CBS must have been in close proximity to where Carnell went down, and as the broadcasters spoke, you could clearly hear the pain Williams was in, repeatedly saying, "you can't be f-ing serious" and screaming in pain. Finally, you could hear someone from the Bucs staff say get out of here, obviously to the sound man.
This was a very poor decision on whoever was in control of the broadcast. And while the Bucs are my team, I wouldn't want coverage of any injury of any other team's player done in such a crass way. Is CBS hiring out of work TMZ employees?
After a 20 yard run on the outside, Williams went down and was in obvious pain. The microphone operator for CBS must have been in close proximity to where Carnell went down, and as the broadcasters spoke, you could clearly hear the pain Williams was in, repeatedly saying, "you can't be f-ing serious" and screaming in pain. Finally, you could hear someone from the Bucs staff say get out of here, obviously to the sound man.
This was a very poor decision on whoever was in control of the broadcast. And while the Bucs are my team, I wouldn't want coverage of any injury of any other team's player done in such a crass way. Is CBS hiring out of work TMZ employees?
Jon, please turn the lights off when you leave Ray Jay.
Well that was a spectacular finish to a once promising season. At one point, the Bucs were 9-3 and in control of the #2 seed in the NFC playoffs and now after getting throttled today by a 5-11 team at home, the Bucs will be at home watching the playoffs on their 60" tv's at home. The Bucs lost by 7. They left 7 points on the field in the second quarter. With 2:26 to go in the 2nd quarter, the Bucs pulled a quick 3 and out and punted back to the Raiders who returned it to the 40. The Raiders then promptly scored to lead 14-7 at the half.
Some serious changes must be made to this team in the offseason. Derrick Brooks and Ronde Barber, great players in their prime, but it's time to say goodbye. Kevin Carter, you can leave as well. Mike Clayton. The movie was more successful than your career in Tampa. Yes, you scored a touchdown today, your first in 3 years. Move on and take your attitude with you to some other city. Jeff Garcia, no one will ever say you don't have heart. You are one of the toughest SOB's I've ever seen play but it's time for this organization to move on. Carnell Williams, my heart goes out to you. You showed tremendous courage to come back and play but after today's injury, I doubt we will ever see you on the field ever again. Joey Galloway, I don't know what happened to you and Gruden this season, perhaps one day we'll know, but take your drama queen act someplace else.
Hey Bruce Allen, is the ink dry yet on Antonio Bryant's new contract yet? He is the only major playmaker we have on this roster and the best wide receiver the Bucs have had since Kevin House. This man should be signed RIGHT NOW.
After watching today's game and the putrid offense the Bucs have, field position plays a major part of our game plan. The Raider's punter, Shane Lechler is a free agent, release Bidwell and sign this guy.
The Bucs have given up nearly 900 yards rushing in the past 4 games. You don't win games like that. And for all you folks on the message boards not wondering why the Bucs don't get any National respect, you witnessed it first hand in the last 4 games of the season. This team overachieved early and the team flaws finally caught up with them. Looks like about 251 days until the start of the 2009 NFL season.
Some serious changes must be made to this team in the offseason. Derrick Brooks and Ronde Barber, great players in their prime, but it's time to say goodbye. Kevin Carter, you can leave as well. Mike Clayton. The movie was more successful than your career in Tampa. Yes, you scored a touchdown today, your first in 3 years. Move on and take your attitude with you to some other city. Jeff Garcia, no one will ever say you don't have heart. You are one of the toughest SOB's I've ever seen play but it's time for this organization to move on. Carnell Williams, my heart goes out to you. You showed tremendous courage to come back and play but after today's injury, I doubt we will ever see you on the field ever again. Joey Galloway, I don't know what happened to you and Gruden this season, perhaps one day we'll know, but take your drama queen act someplace else.
Hey Bruce Allen, is the ink dry yet on Antonio Bryant's new contract yet? He is the only major playmaker we have on this roster and the best wide receiver the Bucs have had since Kevin House. This man should be signed RIGHT NOW.
After watching today's game and the putrid offense the Bucs have, field position plays a major part of our game plan. The Raider's punter, Shane Lechler is a free agent, release Bidwell and sign this guy.
The Bucs have given up nearly 900 yards rushing in the past 4 games. You don't win games like that. And for all you folks on the message boards not wondering why the Bucs don't get any National respect, you witnessed it first hand in the last 4 games of the season. This team overachieved early and the team flaws finally caught up with them. Looks like about 251 days until the start of the 2009 NFL season.
Crazy Dave's
I was watching Meet the Press with David "Sasquatch" Gregory this morning. One of his guests was Obama campaign manager, David Axelrod. There is something creepy about this guy. He looks slimy, and he's from a slimy city. Then as I watching listening to him dance around answering any questions Gregory fired to him, it hit me. He reminds me of the guy you see at 2am doing cheesy commercials for his local business.
He comes on your screen wearing a brown leisure suit with a 3 inch wide white belt holding his pet poodle while yelling madly. Howdy folks, Crazy Dave here from Crazy Dave's Mattress City, 1060 West Addison. All this inventory must go. I'm blowing it all out. Buy a Serta queen pillowtop and get a free headboard. Buy a complete 9 piece bedroom set, get a free senate seat. Everything's gotta go folks, we're closing our doors in three weeks and moving to Washington. Come on down, buy some bunk beds and register to vote. Already registered? Not a problem, our ACORN representatives will help you register again. Look at this Tommy Bahama Canopy set. 7999? No. 6999? No. 5999? No. 4999 cash and carry today and we're throwing in an autographed picture of Ron Gettelfinger and 100 shares of GM stock. And now back to our late night movie.
He comes on your screen wearing a brown leisure suit with a 3 inch wide white belt holding his pet poodle while yelling madly. Howdy folks, Crazy Dave here from Crazy Dave's Mattress City, 1060 West Addison. All this inventory must go. I'm blowing it all out. Buy a Serta queen pillowtop and get a free headboard. Buy a complete 9 piece bedroom set, get a free senate seat. Everything's gotta go folks, we're closing our doors in three weeks and moving to Washington. Come on down, buy some bunk beds and register to vote. Already registered? Not a problem, our ACORN representatives will help you register again. Look at this Tommy Bahama Canopy set. 7999? No. 6999? No. 5999? No. 4999 cash and carry today and we're throwing in an autographed picture of Ron Gettelfinger and 100 shares of GM stock. And now back to our late night movie.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Last Dance, Last Chance
To steal a line from Donna Summer, this is it for several teams this weekend. And for the die hard fans of the greatest game on earth, it's a melancholy time. (unless you are a Lions fan) This is the weekend where the reality hits that there are only 4 more weeks of football remaining. And no, the ProBowl doesn't count as actual football. February ushers in the start of those mindless sports. One where drivers turn left for hundreds of miles and the other, where dozens of men walk 6,000 yards a day, 4 days in a row following a small white ball. Thank God for the NFL Network.
So, as I usually dissect the upcoming Bucs game, I want to look at four key games this week.
Bucs vs Raiders
There is so much history here. Gruden coached the Raiders right up until the famous Tuck Rule game against New England in 2001. Bucs ownership, the Glazers, sent a bounty to the Raiders after the 2001 season in order to obtain Gruden as head coach. 2 1st round picks, 2 2nd round picks and 8 million in cash. The Bucs ironically played the Raiders the next season in the Super Bowl and destroyed them, 48-21 to win the first Buccaneer World Championship in the teams history.
Those of you who had HBO in the 1980's can associate the Raiders owner, Al Davis, with the late night host, the Crypt Keeper. Davis was a maverick before John McCain made being a maverick cool. Davis must be in contact with the lab which has Walt Disney's head frozen for regeneration so Al can come back in a decade to see if his decisions have paid off. His decisions haven't paid off since his team's last Super Bowl appearance. 23-72 since 2003.
The Bucs a 13 point favorite? Are you kidding me? The Bucs will win, but take Oakland and the points. Mortgage the house. Oh shit, I forgot, this is South Florida, you can't get a pawn shop to take a title loan on that bet.
Bucs win 31-21
Dallas vs Philly
Jerry Jones came out this week and said Wade Phillips won't be fired. Wades' done such a superb job. 70-48 career coaching record and a Schottenheimer-esque 0-4 playoff record. And as the Dallas team heads to Philly this weekend, they will miss the playoffs once again. Regardless of the score of the Tampa Bay/Oakland game, Philly will want to knock the Cowboys out of the playoffs. The Cowboys have become the Yankees of the NFL. Lots of money, no delivery.
Philly on the other hand has to deal with the ever present issue regarding the QB diva, Donovan McNabb. This past week, Donovan said he wanted to leave everything on the field. He does. He left chunks on the 20 yardline in the south endzone in Ray Jay. His performance on the field and the endorsement of Chunky Campbell Soup is a bit disturbing.
Philly beats Dallas 24-21
Miami vs. Jets
Oh this is the largest game of the year for the Northeast corridor media sports writers. You know those, the ones on ESPN, the ones who anointed Lord Favre after he was traded to the Jets the J-E-T-S would be an immediate playoff team. Hmmm. The anointed one has thrown 21 touchdowns and 19 interceptions. 6 of those td's were thown in week foor and since, Farve has been 9 td's and 15 picks.
Jets home wins have been against Arizona (week 4) Cincy, KC, St. Louis, and Buffalo. Jets have lost at home to two teams battling for a playoff spot. New England and Denver.
Jets lose to Miami. 27-20
San Diego vs. Denver
8-7 Denver
7-8 San Diego
This is a piss poor division in the NFL. Denver's coach Mike Shanahan will end his 4th season hovering around .500. Norv Turner in San Diego is heading up a mismanagement situation with talent. Shanahan won back to back Super Bowls but has not won a playoff game since 1998.
Both San Diego and Denver play in perhaps the weakest division in the NFL. Oakland and Kansas City are a combined 6-24. A 8-8 Division winner is pretty sad.
San Diego beats Denver 38-30.
So, as I usually dissect the upcoming Bucs game, I want to look at four key games this week.
Bucs vs Raiders
There is so much history here. Gruden coached the Raiders right up until the famous Tuck Rule game against New England in 2001. Bucs ownership, the Glazers, sent a bounty to the Raiders after the 2001 season in order to obtain Gruden as head coach. 2 1st round picks, 2 2nd round picks and 8 million in cash. The Bucs ironically played the Raiders the next season in the Super Bowl and destroyed them, 48-21 to win the first Buccaneer World Championship in the teams history.
Those of you who had HBO in the 1980's can associate the Raiders owner, Al Davis, with the late night host, the Crypt Keeper. Davis was a maverick before John McCain made being a maverick cool. Davis must be in contact with the lab which has Walt Disney's head frozen for regeneration so Al can come back in a decade to see if his decisions have paid off. His decisions haven't paid off since his team's last Super Bowl appearance. 23-72 since 2003.
The Bucs a 13 point favorite? Are you kidding me? The Bucs will win, but take Oakland and the points. Mortgage the house. Oh shit, I forgot, this is South Florida, you can't get a pawn shop to take a title loan on that bet.
Bucs win 31-21
Dallas vs Philly
Jerry Jones came out this week and said Wade Phillips won't be fired. Wades' done such a superb job. 70-48 career coaching record and a Schottenheimer-esque 0-4 playoff record. And as the Dallas team heads to Philly this weekend, they will miss the playoffs once again. Regardless of the score of the Tampa Bay/Oakland game, Philly will want to knock the Cowboys out of the playoffs. The Cowboys have become the Yankees of the NFL. Lots of money, no delivery.
Philly on the other hand has to deal with the ever present issue regarding the QB diva, Donovan McNabb. This past week, Donovan said he wanted to leave everything on the field. He does. He left chunks on the 20 yardline in the south endzone in Ray Jay. His performance on the field and the endorsement of Chunky Campbell Soup is a bit disturbing.
Philly beats Dallas 24-21
Miami vs. Jets
Oh this is the largest game of the year for the Northeast corridor media sports writers. You know those, the ones on ESPN, the ones who anointed Lord Favre after he was traded to the Jets the J-E-T-S would be an immediate playoff team. Hmmm. The anointed one has thrown 21 touchdowns and 19 interceptions. 6 of those td's were thown in week foor and since, Farve has been 9 td's and 15 picks.
Jets home wins have been against Arizona (week 4) Cincy, KC, St. Louis, and Buffalo. Jets have lost at home to two teams battling for a playoff spot. New England and Denver.
Jets lose to Miami. 27-20
San Diego vs. Denver
8-7 Denver
7-8 San Diego
This is a piss poor division in the NFL. Denver's coach Mike Shanahan will end his 4th season hovering around .500. Norv Turner in San Diego is heading up a mismanagement situation with talent. Shanahan won back to back Super Bowls but has not won a playoff game since 1998.
Both San Diego and Denver play in perhaps the weakest division in the NFL. Oakland and Kansas City are a combined 6-24. A 8-8 Division winner is pretty sad.
San Diego beats Denver 38-30.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Crank up the Fat Lady, the season is winding down
Well Bucs fans, how did that 41-24 beatdown by a 6-8 West Coast team feel today? The only other West Coast team to win a game on the East Coast this season was San Francisco in Buffalo last week. West Coast teams have recorded a record of 1-13 prior to this week.
Two times, Antonio Bryant was overthrown while he was WIDE OPEN for a walk in touchdown. This wasn't the first time this season. If the front office allows Bryant to get away during free agency, they must have their heads examined. Remember where you read here, 7 months ago, that Bryant would be the CBPOY.
Bucs fans, the season is over. Playoff seed or not, forget the post season. Get ready for some major shake ups since Monte Kiffin is leaving, and even though Gruden signed a new 3 year contract after last season, after being 9-3 and missing the playoffs might be not so good for the "Offensive Genius" The Marquee Matchup Coach of the 3 yard out pattern on 3rd and 12.
Bucs message boards are filled with links on how the Bucs will beat the snot out of Oakland next week because of Gruden's link to Al Davis. I don't think the Bucs beat the Raiders next week either and finish the year 9-7.
Two times, Antonio Bryant was overthrown while he was WIDE OPEN for a walk in touchdown. This wasn't the first time this season. If the front office allows Bryant to get away during free agency, they must have their heads examined. Remember where you read here, 7 months ago, that Bryant would be the CBPOY.
Bucs fans, the season is over. Playoff seed or not, forget the post season. Get ready for some major shake ups since Monte Kiffin is leaving, and even though Gruden signed a new 3 year contract after last season, after being 9-3 and missing the playoffs might be not so good for the "Offensive Genius" The Marquee Matchup Coach of the 3 yard out pattern on 3rd and 12.
Bucs message boards are filled with links on how the Bucs will beat the snot out of Oakland next week because of Gruden's link to Al Davis. I don't think the Bucs beat the Raiders next week either and finish the year 9-7.
This is it Bucs, your last chance.
With the Baltimore Ravens conducting a beatdown of the Cowboys last night, 33-24, a win by the Bucs today means that at least a wildcard playoff spot will await the Buccos. Those of us who follow and understand this bipolar team, know that a wildcard spot and a road playoff game equal and one and done situation, early exit from the playoff tournament.
There is still the possible scenario which the Bucs can win the division, obtain the #2 seed in the playoffs and a first week bye. However, a loss today and you can kiss that goodbye. While I do believe there is a strong possibility that Carolina and Atlanta both lose on the road today, but a guaranteed win at home for the Bucs? Never. The Bucs could be playing Sister Mary's School for the Blind and still only be a 3 point home favorite. Our Pewter pirates are always seemingly able to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. And in true Bucs flavor, today's game will be be uncertain with 3 minutes to go.
The Chargers have unarchived this season to say the least. Still, Phillip Rivers is the total rated quarterback in the NFL coming into today's game. LT has had a horrible season (especially for fantasy owners, I know firsthand) as he's been battling a toe injury all season. I wonder just how much the departure of Lorenzo Neal (another former Buc) meant to the running game in San Diego. Neal sure looked good last night springing big blocks for big runs against the Cowboys.
Why does it seem, Baltimore always plays great defense and finds a quarterback to manage the game? The last time the Super Bowl was in Tampa, they had Trent Dilfer at the helm and won the big game. This year, rookie quarterback Joe Flacco from Delaware is taking snaps from center. Think about that Bucs fans, ROOKIE quarterback and a 10-5 record. It almost makes you bleed from the eyes if you try to comprehend that.
ATTENTION ONE BUC PLACE, SCOUTING DEPARTMENT
Last season, I was pretty excited about the possibility of drafting Chris Johnson, running back from East Carolina. He only ran a 4.2 40 at the combine. No, instead we are going to be smarter than the average bear and select, I mean waste, the second round pick by taking Dexter 'Skids" Jackson, who is buried on the inactive list each week now. Great pick guys.
This year, I'd like to see the Bucs select Gartrell Johnson from Colorado State. This Marshall Faulk look alike only managed 285 yards on 27 carries and added 90 yards on a few receptions. This senior will be an impact player in the NFL.
If Brian "Hot Wheels" Griese starts today, pencil in a loss Bucs fans. LT should have a 100 yard rushing day but Garcia should be able to carve up a very below average Charger secondary.
Hey Bruce Allen, is Bryant signed to a long term contract yet? No? What are you waiting for?
There is still the possible scenario which the Bucs can win the division, obtain the #2 seed in the playoffs and a first week bye. However, a loss today and you can kiss that goodbye. While I do believe there is a strong possibility that Carolina and Atlanta both lose on the road today, but a guaranteed win at home for the Bucs? Never. The Bucs could be playing Sister Mary's School for the Blind and still only be a 3 point home favorite. Our Pewter pirates are always seemingly able to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. And in true Bucs flavor, today's game will be be uncertain with 3 minutes to go.
The Chargers have unarchived this season to say the least. Still, Phillip Rivers is the total rated quarterback in the NFL coming into today's game. LT has had a horrible season (especially for fantasy owners, I know firsthand) as he's been battling a toe injury all season. I wonder just how much the departure of Lorenzo Neal (another former Buc) meant to the running game in San Diego. Neal sure looked good last night springing big blocks for big runs against the Cowboys.
Why does it seem, Baltimore always plays great defense and finds a quarterback to manage the game? The last time the Super Bowl was in Tampa, they had Trent Dilfer at the helm and won the big game. This year, rookie quarterback Joe Flacco from Delaware is taking snaps from center. Think about that Bucs fans, ROOKIE quarterback and a 10-5 record. It almost makes you bleed from the eyes if you try to comprehend that.
ATTENTION ONE BUC PLACE, SCOUTING DEPARTMENT
Last season, I was pretty excited about the possibility of drafting Chris Johnson, running back from East Carolina. He only ran a 4.2 40 at the combine. No, instead we are going to be smarter than the average bear and select, I mean waste, the second round pick by taking Dexter 'Skids" Jackson, who is buried on the inactive list each week now. Great pick guys.
This year, I'd like to see the Bucs select Gartrell Johnson from Colorado State. This Marshall Faulk look alike only managed 285 yards on 27 carries and added 90 yards on a few receptions. This senior will be an impact player in the NFL.
If Brian "Hot Wheels" Griese starts today, pencil in a loss Bucs fans. LT should have a 100 yard rushing day but Garcia should be able to carve up a very below average Charger secondary.
Hey Bruce Allen, is Bryant signed to a long term contract yet? No? What are you waiting for?
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