It's now less than 24 hours before this years NFL draft. Can you feel the electricity? NFL draft geeks have most likely been living on double lattes and red bull for most of this week, fine tuning who they think will go in the 127th pick versus the 128th pick. Oh yes, at this, the holiest of seasons, everyone is a general manager.
No doubt, this draft will be just like each of the last several decades of drafts. There will be quality players free fall, there will be surprise picks, there will be a late round or undrafted free agent who makes a big splash in the league next season. And, when the dust settles, the so called draft experts will rationalize each and every expected and unexpected move. Then, on Monday April 28th, the media sources will report to us fans, the draft grades of each individual teams.
How astonishing. Players which haven't been signed yet, survived training camp without injury or played a down in the NFL yet, but the media is going to hand out grades for teams on the players they chose this weekend. The NFL has really done such a marketing job with this event, it's unreal. They have a contest on their homepage and if you win, you get to go to the draft next year and announce a pick in like the 6th round. OOOOOOOOOOhhhhhh, I better be all over this contest. Lets see, fly to New York, announce the name of some shlep who will most likely be cut after training camp, post a video of me announcing his name while at the podium on YouTube for 2 million people to view, hey, I'm famous, I announced John Sampson from Northern Eastern South Kentucky Community Colleges' name on tv, albeit 312 folks were watching.
So, no, I won't be entering the contest, but here are my final 15 picks, one of them is a lock. (I've got an inside source)
Miami Mullets- Jake Long OT- Michigan. Just got a feeling about this one.
St. Louis Ewes- Rumors were swirling today (imagine rumors during draft week) that New Orleans wants this pick and is willing to trade a second rounder and their starting LOT. I think the Ewes take that trade and move into the 10th spot. America's team from 06 then selects homeboy DT Glen Dorsey from LSU, an hour away from the stadium in Baton Rouge.
Atlanta Pigeons- For you Pigeon fans reading, please be nice to the parking attendants this season. The gentleman wearing the orange vest and guiding you to your spot might just be Rich McKay. Hopefully this will be his last position in "football operations" for a team.
There is no signal caller in the ATL and they make the call for the big guy, Matt Ryan from BC.
Oakland (West Coast Buccaneers) Raiders- So many choices here at this spot. I'm sure Al Davis, who is Keith Richards father, hears the refrains of Time on our side in his head. This guy wants to win NOW. Davis is not buying green bananas at this point and as much as he wants McFadden from Arkansas, they have a serviceable backfield and select the son of a former all-time Raider great, Chris Long from Virginia.
Kansas City Chefs- Remember that great Snickers commercial years back where the grounds crew screws up the name of the Chiefs in the endzone, those were the days......... pre double lattes, and an entire section at the local convience store dedicated to just energy drinks, gas was only 2.00 a gallon, you could buy a cell phone which was JUST a phone.........I digress.
Since Jared Allen is now in the land of 10,000 lakes, the Chefs take Vernon Gholston, DE from THE OSU.
New York J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS- So at this point and time in the draft, how excited are you Jets fans? So many failures over the years, so many disappointments. Not this year, you select, Darren McFadden, RB Arkansas.
New England Polaroids- Perhaps I should call them the Beta Max, but that would be lost in the translation. Just to irritate me, they select, Mike Jenkins, CB, USF. I wish him great success in the NFL but not not for this team, perhaps when he becomes a free agent.
Edgar Allan Poe's favorite team from Baltimore- McNair is retired, new coach, new regime, new quarterback. Brian Brohm, Louisville
Cincinnati "work release" Bengals- This is a team filled with demons and will be selecting in the top ten again next season. You'd think the coach could tell the players that they are supposed to hit people on the football field, not off the field. Two years ago, I thought this team was going to be knocking on the door of the Super Bowl this past season, today, I think the Lions will get to the Super Bowl before this franchise. They select, Derrick Harvey, DE, from U of F. Just a quick aside here. Do you know how you can find the University of Florida while in Tampa? Take I-75 north and then simply follow the smell.
St Louis Ewes (from a trade with NO) They execute a trade with Nawlins, pick up some picks and still get a quality D-lineman for alot less signing bonus money. Sedrick Ellis, USC.
Toronto Bills- Yes, this is the first NFL team to move to Canada, perhaps the Wilson family is now looking at the currency exchange rate and what was once the Canadian Peso, has quickly become the US Peso. A few games played over there now and then, but given unemployment, it won't take long, perhaps 3 years, and the Bills will be calling Toronto home for good. The NFL is morphing into the NHL. The Toronto Argonauts....errrrr Bills select, Devin Thomas, WR, Michigan State.
Denver (why is our airport in another state) Broncos- With the price of food skyrocketing for staples such as rice and wheat, they choose to upgrade the O-Line and go local with OT Ryan Clady from Boise St. Rumor has it he has an in with some potato people which will lower the food costs during training camp and pregame meals.
Carolina Kittycats- Outside of the New England Polaroids, I despise this team. I was happy to see them lose many players from the defensive line this season, and now that Julius Peppers had a mortal season and all his buddies are gone, just how fearsome are they going to be next year?
Defensive needs are a concern, the Pussys take, Keith Rivers, LB USC
Chicago- Safe pick, they select, OT Branden Albert-Virginia who's stock is rising up the boards.
Detroit (I'll take another wide receiver in the first round Alex) Lions- What an enigma this team is. For all of those who wonder why Matt Millen still has a job, ask your self, why did Wayne Fontes keep his job as long as he did? Ah well, Wayne benefited from Barry Sanders, but come on now what's he doing these days? Running a booth in a flea market outside of Beverly Hills Michigan? The Lions will select Mario Manningham WR Michigan. JUST KIDDING, they will select Jonathan Stewart RB Oregon.
As for the beloved Buccos- again there is all sorts of speculation out there in the past few days about teams wanting to trade up into the area where the Bucs are slated to pick in the first round. Miami is one team which has multiple picks and could offer the Bucs a chance for 3 picks in the second round, or perhaps an additional second and third round pick. Since the Bucs only have 5 picks in this years draft, I'm sure that they are entertaining offers.
Then again, another rumor which surfaced is the Bucs are thinking about a trade with the Philadelphia Buzzards for CB Lito Sheppard for the Bucs second round pick and Michael Clayton.
If that happens you give up a high pick for an injury prone player who is only 26 in Sheppard, but Clayton has been just as injury prone as well. In my eyes it's a wash on the players and the loss of a 2nd round pick.
If the Bucs don't trade down in the first round, I feel they will select one of the following three players. Phillip Merling, DE, Clemson-could bookend with Adams nicely. CB Brandon Flowers, or OT Sam Baker from USC.
I do feel as I look back on the Bruce Allen/Jon Gruden regime here, there will be surprises in store this coming weekend for Bucs fans and there will be a few chances to say, WHO did they pick?
Needless to say, I wont be headed to the Big Apple next year to announce anyones draft choice, but lets just see on Monday how my picks went, then we can grade out the draft. Or not.
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