Crackheads, Ospreys and Ewes, who finishes first?

We now delve into the NFC and explore the nicknames I have for teams in this conference so you can follow along at home.

NFC East
Dallas- Jerry Jones will sign anyone who he thinks might help his franchise win. 13-3 last season and they couldn't get it done. Pacman Jones isnt going to help. Tom Landry is spinning in his grave. Dallas will be referred to as NFL work release.
Giants- NY gets a bye since they are reigning Super Bowl Champs. Kudos.
Washington- Redskins? The only indians in DC drive taxis and they are from Pakistan. I've anointed this team as the Crackheads, in honor of the great mayor Marion Barry which has been such a leader in the community.
Philadelphia- Ah, the city of brotherly love, cradle of our Nation. Sounds like such a proud and benign city. HA. Philly fans are terrible. You don't deserve to be called the Eagles which are the proud National symbol of this great Nation. You are nothing more than Buzzards, feeding at the bottom. BTW, thanks for your help in winning the Super Bowl and Stanley Cup.

NFC West
Seattle- According to 10,000birds.com, there is no such bird as a Seahawk. Imagine that. Where is the truth in advertising? The same state which brought us 6.00 double foam lattes and the wonderful Vista operating system has a football team named for a bird which doesn't exist. Hmmm. The closest semblance of a Seahawk is the Osprey, a very cool bird, which happens to nest in a tree in my parents back yard, when they aren't thrown out by the Eagles. Seattle is now the Ospreys.
Arizona- I really feel for the fans of this team. It originated in Chicago and started play with hand me down equipment from a college team, moved to St Louis, then became the Phoenix Cardinals, and now are the Arizona Cardinals, while the Bidwell family extorted the local community to build another new, state of the art stadium. Now rumors are they might move again. The Bidwell family reminds me of the Culverhouse ownership here in Tampa years ago. So with that in mind and another potential move in store, since cardinals don't go to Arizona, how about the Arizona Nomads.
St Louis- This team recycled a quarterback in the end of last decade and made Mike Martz a coaching sensation. What was known as the Greatest Show on Turf, has gone to one of the hardest teams to watch. The Rams aren't rams, but Ewes.
San Fransico-check last post, aptly named.

NFC North
Packers- same as 49'er's.
Detroit- Lions? Lions? Lion's of what? The last championship was ...............1950's............
You had Barry Sanders and never made it to the Super Bowl. You will be referred to as the Teddy Bears.
Chicago- You get a pass based on history.
Minnesota- Alot of Nordic history with this team, some great young talent coming on this season, every one's trendy pick to go to the Super Bowl, not going to happen this year. They are the Nordic Wannabees.

NFC South
Carolina- Panthers? Since your run to the Super Bowl years ago, you've been more like a declawed house cat swatting at a fly. You are still the Kittys.
Atlanta- Falcons are proud birds of prey, you have not and will not produce that on the field this year. You will be referred to as the Pigeons.
New Orleans- In 2006 you were America's favorite team after Hurricane Katrina, and the euphoria has waned this past season when you started the season 0-4, secondary defense was horrible and offered up a pedestrian offense with Drew Brees throwing over 600 pass attempts.
Since drafting Reggie Bush as the savior of this team, it's now Reggie's team.
Tampa Bay- see other listings, aptly named.

In the coming week, I'll submit my predictions for the 2008 season, and you don't need to spend 7.00 for a magazine to find out who will win the Super Bowl, instead, send your 7.00 to me.